Cancer survivor’s ‘psychological torment’ sparks fight for crucial NHS change
A cancer survivor and pageant star who defied her diagnosis to be crowned Mrs Universe has opened up about the “psychological torment” she suffered while battling the disease. Ngozi Onwuchekwa, 47, recalled some of the darkest months of her life as she backed the Express’s Cancer Care Campaign to improve mental health support for patients. On one harrowing night, she lay in a hospital bed shaking uncontrollably after another brutal round of chemotherapy — however the effects were “not from illness, but from panic”.
She said: “I felt like I was drowning, though I was breathing. My heart kept racing, my chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself. I remember grabbing the sheets, silently begging for something — anything — to stop this feeling that something terrible was about to happen. That was my first full-blown panic attack.” Ms Onwuchekwa had been diagnosed with stage three rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare and aggressive soft tissue cancer, in July, 2020.
She underwent treatment during the Covid pandemic and was often isolated due to restrictions on hospital visits. As the cancer and effects of harsh treatment ravaged her body, her hair fell out and she lost 14kg “in what felt like the blink of an eye”.
Meanwhile, the impact on her mental health and resulting emotional exhaustion meant there were days when Ms Onwuchekwa did not leave her bed.
She said: “I stopped answering messages. I avoided mirrors. I screamed into pillows just to release the pressure building in my chest.
“I had thoughts I never imagined I’d have. I didn’t want to die, but I wasn’t sure I could keep living like this either. I felt trapped between my will to survive and my desperate need for relief from the constant emotional pain.”
The fashion influencer hid her mental struggle for a long time, “trying to shield the people around me from my fears”.
She added: “That darkest moment of battling rhabdomyosarcoma — the mental breakdown that made me question everything — ended up being the turning point.
“It forced me to take my mental health seriously. It forced me to speak up. It taught me that surviving cancer means more than healing the body.”
Ms Onwuchekwa, from West Sussex, is now encouraging other cancer sufferers to speak out and seek support when necessary.
And she is backing the Express’s call for all patients to be offered Holistic Needs Assessments and asked about their mental health at every appointment, so those who are struggling can be identified sooner and properly supported.
Ms Onwuchekwa was crowned Mrs Exceptional Lady Universe 2023, when she represented the UK at the international pageant in Miami.
She added that surviving cancer is not just about a physical journey, but also “learning to rebuild your mind, your heart, and your sense of self — one fragile, brave step at a time”.
